Book Review—It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health

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How to Talk with Your Child about Sex

Do you have an older child or teen? Have you talked with them about puberty and sex yet? I didn’t think the puberty talk was that bad. Really, it was a series of smaller talks as I’ve always been very open with my girls, from a young age, about menstruation and the changes that happen during puberty. (You kind of have to be when they follow you into the bathroom as a toddler.) I also signed my oldest daughter up for a class through her school with some of her peers that helped make sure all the bases were covered as far as puberty went. If you haven’t had this talk yet or would like an activity to help with preparing your daughter for puberty, read Adventures in Puberty that I wrote for Birth2Work. 

Sex is another thing entirely though. Oh, we had the “where do babies come from” talk and how it takes a part of the mom and a part of the dad to create a baby, but the real “birds and bees” talk is what I’m talking about now. How the heck do you start that conversation, and when is the best time? 

I was thrown for a loop when my oldest was eight. I didn’t think we were anywhere near this talk, but she came across a page in The Usborne Book of Knowledge titled “How a Baby Starts,” and she had questions. Personally, I thought I handled the situation well, especially since it was sprung on me. Recently though, I found out she was still confused. I think mostly from the drawings on that page. (They were robot looking things that I found weird. I can only imagine what she thought of them.) 

Well, I didn’t realize she was still confused, so after that talk, I thought we were good until she reached her teen years. The closer she got to puberty though, the more I began to wonder if I was waiting too long. I just didn’t know how to approach the subject. After she took the Body Basics class (This is NOT an affiliate link. I highly recommend Karen, her courses, her retreats, and her parent education and coaching. She is a great resource!) I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. Luckily, the instructor, Karen, recommended this book. 

I have to admit that when I got It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris, I was a little taken aback. (There’s a newer edition that has some added content and a different cover. This review covers the older version, which I ended up purchasing on Amazon to read with my youngest. You can see what updates are included in the newer version here.) The drawings and the thought of showing them to my daughter made me uncomfortable, to say the least. I knew that my uncomfortableness with the subject and the book was not doing any good for my daughter though, so I took a deep breath and told her I wanted to spend some time reading a book with her about sex. I owe this levelheadedness to Talk To Me First by Deborah Roffman, which I had also started reading (review coming soon). 

I normally read to my daughter at bedtime, so we already had the routine in place. She didn’t want to miss out on her normal story time though, so we spent part of our time reading It’s Perfectly Normal and talking about what we had just read if she had questions and then moved on to her normal bedtime story. It took us a few weeks to get through the book, but this allowed our time to be unrushed and to talk about questions. It also allowed my daughter time to process everything and realize she did have questions. 

And it wasn’t weird or uncomfortable. A few nights my daughter even asked me to keep reading from It’s Perfectly Normal instead of switching to her normal bedtime story. I let her lead the pace. We’d sit together, side by side, on her bed and I’d read as she would follow along. Instead of being an awkward conversation that both of us couldn’t wait to be over with, it turned into a bonding time. 

If you haven’t had “the birds and the bees” talk or even if you have, I highly recommend reading It’s Perfectly Normal with your child. It takes the guess work out of what to say and takes the awkwardness out of the talk because you don’t have to make eye contact—you’re both looking at the book. It’s matter-of-fact and straightforward. They have books for younger kids too. I’ll be reading those and posting my reviews for them soon. 

Until then, happy talking!