Mother’s Day Guilt

For years, Mother’s Day brought on a sense of guilt for me. I knew the inevitable question of “What do you want to do today?” would be asked. What did I want to do? If I was completely honest, some years I just wanted to say, “To not have to do anything. To not have to be a mom for the day.” But that wasn’t right, was it? Mother’s Day was a day to celebrate being a mom and spending time with the family—the whole reason for being a mom. A good mom wouldn’t want time for herself, would she? A good mom wouldn’t feel the need to not be a mom for a little bit, would she?

Thus, the guilt would set in. Well, I’m here to say that if you have ever felt like just taking the day off on Mother’s Day, or any other day, you’re not alone and it’s not a feeling that should bring about guilt. It’s a feeling that we need to listen to, especially as mothers, and honor. So if you’ve ever struggled with this feeling like I have, stop. Stop struggling. Stop pushing the feeling away. Stop ignoring it and start honoring it. Recognize all that you do every day of every year. Wanting some time to yourself does not make you a bad mom. It makes you human. 

We all need to take care of ourselves and I feel that since I have become a mother, it’s even more important. (You can read more about why I feel self-care is so important here.) I can’t take care of my family if I don’t take care of myself. I’m also doing a disservice to my daughters by not taking care of myself because I’m showing them caring for oneself is not important. But that’s not right. That’s not what I want to show them. 

So now, when the inevitable question comes up. I’m honest. I listen to that inner voice. Some years it means taking a morning to sleep in or going out on my own for a bit or sitting quietly to read by myself or care for myself in some other way. Other years it means spending quality time with my family and, those years, I don’t do it because it’s something I feel I should be doing. It’s because it’s truly what I want to be doing in that moment. And some years, it’s a combination of the two—some time to myself and some time with the family. So however you spend your mother’s day, make sure you are honoring the mother in yourself, even if that means taking some time off from being a mom. And do it guilt-free. You’ll be a better mom for it. I know I am. 

Happy Mother’s Day!