Take a Deep Breath to Survive the School Year

“Take a deep breath.”

I was told this a few times when the realities of this school year hit me. Admittedly, I needed to hear it—I was freaking out a bit. (I’m homeschooling my seventh grader even though that wasn’t our plan, and I was feeling very overwhelmed.) After taking the advice and a few deep breaths, I got to work figuring out my curriculum and then how I’m going to survive the school year. I realized it boils down to six things anyone can do and I’m already doing.

2. Find support.

A support system can be made up of family, friends, your child’s teacher, professional counselors, and anyone else that you can rely on. Whatever you’re going through right now, talk with a friend, see what other parents in your community are doing, or reach out to your child’s teacher and try something different if that’s what needs to be done.

If your child is distance learning, make sure you and your child are clear on what the assignments are. Feeling like there’s too much schoolwork to do? You might be doing more than needs to be done. If not, then your child’s teacher should know how the workload is affecting you. Or if you’re having issues with technology, see if you can use a school device, if you’re not already. I have a few friends who are teachers, and believe me, they want you to talk with them. Let them know what’s working and what’s not.

3. Ask for help.

You’re not alone. Use your support system. I’ve already posted in the online support group for the curriculum I purchased (multiple times) and attended online office hours to ask more questions. I’ve also talked with other parents from my daughter’s class to see if we can collaborate on anything. And I’ve explained what homeschooling will mean to my husband and daughters and asked them for help too. If your current support system isn’t able to help, then keep expanding it until it is. There is help out there!

4. Vent.

I know there are differing views on venting, but I feel strongly that venting is extremely important. Let me be clear that venting and complaining are two completely different things. Complaining is not helpful, and I do not recommend complaining. Complaining is focusing on the negative and holding on to it. Venting is getting your frustrations, anger, and other negative feelings out and then moving on without them. Sometimes you just need to express your negative feelings and have someone acknowledge them to be able to let them go. I talk regularly with one of my close friends, and this often includes venting.

5. Take care of yourself.

To deal with new and stressful situations, you’ll need to be healthy. One of the best ways to ensure your health not only physically but emotionally as well is through self-care. Make a list of things that calm you, rejuvenate you, make you happy, and energize you. Place this list in an easy-to-view spot and reference it often. Also, make sure to get enough sleep. Sleep is a key element in self-care.

6. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

There will be bumps along the road this year, probably more than usual, and that’s okay. You’re dealing with a new situation and learning as you go. Even if you feel you’re failing, you’re not. You’re learning. That’s something Melisa Nielsen with Waldorf Essentials said during one of her office hours, and it resonated with me and has helped a ton (just in the last week). I’m learning.

So instead of wallowing in what you’re doing wrong, have a bit of grace for yourself and realize it for what it is. You’re learning and adjusting, just like I am. When we don’t take ourselves too seriously, it allows us this grace and sometimes even allows us to laugh at ourselves. When I’m able to laugh at myself, it’s oddly freeing. Even if you’re not at a point where you can laugh at yourself, find something that will make you laugh. Laughing in itself is very healing. Don’t believe me? Read this Mayo Clinic article on the benefits of laughter.

You’re Not Alone

However you’re schooling, just remember you’re not the only one in new and uncharted waters. I’m right there with you, along with the rest of the world.

And even though my oldest enjoyed her first week of homeschooling (I oddly enough did too!—even though it was just as much work, if not more, than I thought it’d be) and is still eager for the year ahead, I know there will be some rough patches ahead. But, whatever happens, I know we’ll be tackling it together, probably with some laughter as I’m sure I’ll get to say, “See, this is why I didn’t want to homeschool,” when I completely miss the mark on something. But that’s okay. For her to see me laughing at myself and moving on will be a lesson in itself. (Besides, I’ll just be helping her prove the point that teenagers know more than their parents, right? ?)  

Connect

In this strange time, connection is key. Find your group, connect, and take a deep breath. You can handle this. And remember that your kids need connection too! Your younger ones may need more snuggles, and your older ones still need to know you’re there for them. They may balk at family time, but secretly, they just might be thankful you insisted. Your olders will also want to stay connected with friends. My oldest just got her first cell phone. (Read about the two safe phone options we chose from, and stay tuned for a review of her phone.) It’s been beeping and chiming almost nonstop (except during our homeschooling hours when it’s put away), but even though she’s not seeing them daily like she would a normal school year, she still knows what they’re up to.

Part of My Plan

As part of my self-care, I’m pulling out a puzzle I’ve been wanting to do but haven’t felt I had the time. But time or not, I’m making it because I find working on a puzzle soothing and meditative and satisfying as I watch my actions create a whole. I know I’ll be needing some of that as the rest of the school year unfolds. I think it will also be helpful as I puzzle together the different pieces of my oldest’s curriculum. Pretty soon, I’ll have a complete picture of her seventh-grade year. If I can do it, so can you.

So remember, follow the six key things above to survive the school year, starting with taking a deep breath. You’ve got this!